One sweater down

L'Shana Tova! I, for one, am hoping that the new year brings this boy home to us. When he finally gets here, this sweater will be waiting for him. It is a short sweater, so hopefully he will have a short torso. Baby proportions are a little different- bigger heads, smaller glottic openings...

close-up of buttons:

The big Three Five

Well, I have officially made it past my 35th birthday. For some reason this one bothered me more than most. Maybe it's that I'm in a new demographic (no longer 25-34); maybe it's because I am no longer "really young to be a doctor"; maybe it's because I thought I'd have at least two children by now. In honor of my birthday, I worked the overnight shifts on thursday, friday and saturday, thereby ensuring that I wouldn't have to do anything special. However, Mike showed up in the ED on saturday night with flowers, godiva chocolates and a beautiful sapphire necklace. So incredibly sweet and unexpected! I promptly placed the flowers into a (clean) plastic urine bottle to make sure they didn't dry out. Very classy. That's how I roll. I slept away most of the day, since I didn't get home until 7:30am. Woke up, ate pizza and had more chocolate. All in all, a success. Of course, now, I can't sleep. I think it's old age.

shaky ground

So, we got an email from our adoption agency yesterday, saying that they are going to close due to insufficient funds. The director says that she will see through all adoptions in progress to the end, but will not be getting new referrals for people. I guess that means we are still ok, but it's scary! I felt like once we had a referral, we'd be safe and things would take time but definitely happen. Now, it feels uncertain again, despite the assurances we've gotten. I am thinking about going back into therapy. Or eating more M&Ms. More likely the latter will happen.

8 month pictures

We received new pics of Aaron yesterday, which was the day he turned 8 months. He is so cute! I want to bring him home even more now!! Apparently, he is very wiggly, so it wasn't easy to get a lot of non-blurry shots.

This one is my absolute favorite

No news is no news

Rumors abound that the babies born at the Tu Du hospital, where Aaron was born, will have an extra 30 business days tacked on to the already torturous wait. There has been no official message from the adoption agency. I am still holding out hope that we will be going to get him in November. It's hard to know what to think. I am almost as emotional these days as when I was going through fertility treatment, minus the effects of self-injected hormones. At least with that, I was doing something every day, albeit painful something.

In crafting news, the quilt is done and is adorable. The knitting was put on hold while I made four scarves to donate to an auction to support a nurse I work with who was injured after falling asleep driving. She is ok, but won't be back to work for months. I have made a little progress on the green sweater, although my gauge isn't perfect. I am already using size US 3 needles and I REFUSE to switch to US 2's. No one should knit on needles that small. I will just make it for the measurements one size bigger. It really is a spring sweater anyway.

So very tired

I am not sleeping. This isn't new for me, but now I have more things about which to ruminate as I lie awake next to my snoring husband. Will we find someone to do some construction on the baby's room? What if we don't hear from CIS in the 60 day time period? What if we hear from them soon? What if he doesn't like us? What if I don't love him as much as I'm supposed to? I never thought I would love any being as much as I love Bouts the dog.

Will I still love Bouts as much? Will he and Aaron like each other?

So many worries and, unfortunately for me, too much time to think about them.